


Answer All Your Wishes

by SadaVeniren



Series: Answer All Your Wishes Verse [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blogging, Established Relationship, Famous Louis, Fluff, Kid Fic, Lactation Kink, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Famous Harry, Pregnancy Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:44:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadaVeniren/pseuds/SadaVeniren
Summary: Harry and Louis met when Harry was thirteen and as first impressions go theirs was memorable enough to start a life long romance.AKA a Tom Fletcher/Giovanna Fletcher AU where Louis is part of One Direction, Harry is the love of his life who blogs, and they have many, many children.





	Answer All Your Wishes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casuallyhl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casuallyhl/gifts).



> Hiiiiii casuallyhl!! I was a pinch hitter so I only got your prompt in early August but I had a lot of fun with them. I mixed two of them together so I really hope you enjoy this! :)
> 
> The title is from McFly's song "All About You" which Tom wrote about Giovanna. I feel :\ about tagging for the smut when it's literally only one scene BUT since it involved two (minor) kinks I did. The kinks are small and not really a focus. 
> 
> Thanks so so much to Sammie for coming through and brit-picking for me. Think about all the silly mistakes I would have made if you hadn't been like "no that's not how this works" XD

_May 28, 2015_

_Good morning Lovelies,_

_I want to start off today’s post by addressing something you might already know if you follow me on twitter or instagram, or if you just casually read entertainment news. Yes, Louis and I are expecting our first child together! It’s an incredibly exciting time for us as I’m sure all you can imagine. We’re looking forward to the coming challenges and changes, since this is something we have wanted for a long time._

_With that said, yes there will be changes here, on this little slice of the internet I call my own. It’s hard not to have changes coming when it involves something so big. I know this blog has focused on a variety of different topics and interests that have revolved around what’s going on in my life. Over the past four years you’ve traveled the world with me, learned about fashion and music and cooking as I have, and (hopefully!) gotten to fall a bit in love with the band that made this all possible. And now I’m hoping you’ll be able to follow me through my next journey. I still intend to document as I have been: new recipes up every Monday, yoga on Saturdays, indulging in my passion for photography every chance I can, but there will probably be lots, and lots, and lots of baby updates as well. I don’t think I’ll be able to help it!_

_What I’m saying is, I don’t intend on becoming a mummy blog but there’s a very good chance that four months from now that is exactly what is going to happen, and I just wanted all my Lovelies to be aware of this so you can abandon ship now! But in actuality don’t. It would make me very sad._

_All the Love,  
H_

*

Harry and Louis met when Harry was thirteen. It was at a local battle of the bands that was really just a bunch of kids with shitty instruments using a school gym one weekend because someone had managed to convince their music teacher it was a good idea. Harry had gone with his “band” (if you could call them that) who were armed with the ability to play halfway through Oasis’ “Live Forever” and that was about it.

Luckily he saw a couple of the other bands that were signed up seemed to be on their level, just kids messing around, trying to see if this was something they wanted to do. The older bands, the ones who looked put together and _mature_ didn’t even seem like dicks. Sure, most of them were standoffish and cliquey but at least no one laughed at them.

Harry was standing by his friends, trying to go through vocal warm ups because he saw another guy doing that and it seemed like a good idea. He’d never had any formal training so he didn’t know what exactly to do during a vocal warm up but he was trying.

That’s when he saw _him_. Louis. He was standing with his own band, a group of three other boys, all dressed in white button up shirts with grungy looking trousers and grey ties. All of their hair was done up, and even from the distance Harry was away from them, he could tell they’d added kohl under their eyes. They looked like a proper band, and Harry had looked down at his own band t-shirt and felt woefully inadequate.

Harry liked to imagine the whole meeting was very Hollywood but what actually happened was Harry needed to go to the toilet, opened the door too quickly, and ended up bashing Louis in the nose. Blood had spurted all down his shirt and neither of them had ended up performing, Louis because he was bleeding everywhere, and Harry because he was way too embarrassed he’d almost broken someone’s nose. They’d ended up waiting outside in the car park for their mums and chatting. Chatting that night turned into trading MSN names and phone numbers and a steadily growing friendship.

They began dating soon enough, confessing their feelings over the phone one night as Louis’ sisters kicked up a fuss in the background. It was a long distance love but Harry never wanted to change it for the world. He and Louis were best friends who became more.

When Harry was sixteen he and Louis tried out for the X-Factor together. Louis had done it the year before, not making it passed the first round, but Louis had a good feeling the two of them could make a go of it as a pair. They’d joined a mish-mash local band together and they’d even done a couple of shows to a decent reaction. Trying out for the X-Factor just the two of them made sense. They made it passed the first audition and were set to perform in front of the judges when Harry woke up that morning delusional with a fever and no voice to speak of.

Louis had ended up going only because both of their mums told him he had to, if only because you should never quit something you’d committed to. To this day Harry was positive Louis only went because he assumed he wouldn’t get through.

Except. He did. He made it to bootcamp.

And then he was cut.

And then put into a group with three other boys. A group that went on to come in third place and sign a record contract at the end of it all.

Harry was ecstatic for Louis. How could he not be? Louis was living the dream and even if Harry wasn’t there with him, he was still there _with_ him. Harry ended up tagging along with the band - One Direction - whenever he had a break from sixth form and thus began the origins of his blog. It had started as a way to document his travels and day to day life more concretely than twitter, but as the band’s popularity grew, so did his blog. Just by virtue of being connected to Louis. It was a little scary at first, and Harry had learned quickly how best to manage openness over his blog with the carefulness that was required not to do anything that would cause backlash on Louis or the band.

By the time Louis proposed to him right before the band’s second tour, Harry had grown popular enough that an agent had approached him about writing a book. He ended up spending the next year planning not only his wedding, but writing a travel book based off the experiences he had been sharing on his blog. He included reviews and candid stories, as well as pictures he had taken while traveling to different cities with Louis, and One Direction.

Starting a family with Louis was the natural next step. They had been talking about it since they were teenagers. The idea had always been to wait until Harry was done with uni and they both had jobs, but with the way Louis’ career had taken off plans changed. They were lucky enough to be in a position where they didn’t have to wait if they didn’t want to. Sure there was a bit of planning to consider, tours and albums the band still had to make, but this was what they both wanted more than anything.

***

_June 14, 2015_

_Good afternoon Lovelies,_

_I’m going to admit something to you that took a couple of weeks, many pairs of missing keys, sunnies, and shoes, and a little bit of teasing from Louis to admit: I have pregnancy brain. Some of you may laugh, others need an explanation. Pregnancy brain is basically forgetfulness. My doctor told me that it usually comes from a mix of stress and a reordering of my priorities. There’s nothing actually wrong with me (I definitely didn’t think I had a tumor or something that was making me forget to do simple things like TURN OFF THE STOVE) I’m just a little forgetful._

_Like forgetting to turn off the stove forgetful._

_The house did not burn down._

_But luckily! I have a loving husband who is willing to be beside me in this time of need and remind me that my keys are in my pocket, that my shoes are by the door, that I don’t wear glasses, and that the stove is safely off. (Okay one of those is a lie. I’ll let you guess which one it is._

_It’s about the glasses. I know I don’t wear glasses. … Most days)_

_All the love,  
H_

*

“Hey, honey,” Harry asked as he checked desperately by the door one last time. “Have you seen my sunnies?”

“I put them on the table by the door next to your keys,” Louis called from the kitchen.

Harry looked at the table by the door which was empty of both his keys and his sunnies. “They aren’t there. And neither are my keys.”

He heard Louis mutter, “what the fuck” and he stood there helplessly as he waited for his husband to pop in and check for himself. He reached up and rubbed his belly as he felt his little one kick, and oh there were his keys at the very least. Right in his hand. He couldn’t help but smile a little at his own forgetfulness. It was beginning to border on absurd the things he wouldn’t remember.

“I found my keys,” he said as he turned towards the door where Louis was just coming through. “But still no sign of my sunnies.”

Louis pursed his lips and darted his eyes to the empty table before looking back at Harry. “Which pair, love? Your red heart ones?”

“Yeah, I thought they’d match my outfit best,” Harry said looking at his pink polka dotted shirt and black leggings. His feet had started to swell around week twenty so he was wearing the comfiest pairs of shoes he owned. “Since management insisted on us getting papped.”

“Sorry about that. I’ll take you out for a real anniversary dinner this weekend. And your sunnies are on your head, babe.”

Harry blinked and then reached up to touch his head where, yup, his sunnies were already perched up there, holding his hair back. Well that explained how he managed to not have any hair in his face too. “Oh. Whoops,” he grinned sheepishly at Louis.

Louis shook his head and gave him a quick kiss, hand drifting to his belly. “I think it’s cute.” His hand rested on top of Harry’s as he snagged the keys. “I don’t trust you to drive though, so I’m confiscating these.”

Harry pouted, just enough to have Louis kiss him one last time, before he ushered him out of the house.

***

_January 15, 2016_

_Good some time of the day Lovelies,_

_You know how your doctor and everyone urges you to set a routine as quickly as possible so you and your baby get the adequate rest you need? Do you want to know what they don’t take into consideration? Colic. Colic and touring. Is the touring causing the colic? Is the colic causing the touring? We don’t know. Time is currently an illusion and despite my best efforts I’m not positive taking a three month baby on tour - even a UK tour - was the best idea I’ve ever had. I should have been a stay at home mum._

_At least everyone tells me this should all be over in a month or so. I will keep you updated on that situation. As of today let me give you a list of things that I can guarantee you do not work in calming a fussing baby!_

_-Going for a ride (DESPITE WHAT EVERYONE TOLD ME)_  
_-White noise machine_  
_-Swaddling_  
_-Sucking on a dummy_  
_-Changing the nipple on the bottle (not changing my nipple though if I could I would just to see if it helped)_  
_-Running a fan_  
_-Running a vacuum_  
_-Sitting on the dryer while holding the baby_  
_-Crying desperately while your husband attempts to do everything mentioned above because you think you’re a horrible parent who has ruined their newborn’s life_

_But all hope is not lost! Here are things that work about 50% of the time, which is the best I got for you:_

_-Infant massages while in a warm bath_

_That’s it. That’s the only thing that works for her. My hands are so pruny I think I have become half-fish. And the worst part is I can’t even be mad at our little girl because she’s just so adorable!_

_Until next time,_  
_All the love,_  
_H_  

*

“H, it’s fine. I’ve held plenty of babies before. Me and Izzy can hold it down for ten minutes while you run out and take pictures.”

“Imprinting on your illegitimate children for five seconds before you sign the forms to give them up doesn’t count as holding plenty of babies, Niall.”

“Okay, first of all, rude and dismissive of the effort I put into fathering all these illegitimate children; those cheques go out promptly every month. Second of all, couldn’t you have gone with like a Pope Niall, or President Niall kiss all the babies angle? Would have been much funnier.”

“How can I trust what you think is funny? You think giant over-sized phones are the pinnacle of humor.”

“I’m going to ignore that hurtful comment and focus all of that negative emotion on being a _positive_ influence on my favorite niece while you go out and take nice pictures of Edinburgh so you can post them on your blog, convince your American mummy followers to come to the UK, and get your tourism check from the government.”

“You make it seem so nefarious,” Harry said, but he cut himself off from more snarky comments when Izzy started to fuss in Niall’s arms.

Before he could reach out and grab her Niall had turned, holding up his free hand. “Ah-ah! I got this. You only have four more hours before you lose me as a babysitter so go and actually do your job that you love. She will be fine. She’s gonna hang out with me, and Liam, and Zayn, and her Auntie Lottie. She’s gonna be the chillest baby ever.” Niall turned and kissed Izzy’s temple, cooing at her softly until she settled back down in his arms.

Harry pouted. “I’m just gonna miss her.”

“The sooner you leave the sooner you’ll be back,” Niall pointed out.

“Lemme just hold her once more,” Harry said, holding out his arms.

“Oh my god, Jay was right, new mothers are so fucking needy,” Niall muttered as he handed Izzy back to Harry.

“I think I can take her with me,” Harry said as he kissed Izzy’s forehead. She did her half baby giggle which always made him smile. “Yeah, you’d like to come with me and take pictures.”

“H, no. She’s spending time with Uncle Niall. Separation is healthy and important. That’s what you told me like thirty minutes ago when you asked me to watch her.”

“Yeah but maybe I was wrong-”

“Oh my fucking god Louis is trying to take you on a surprise date please for the love of all that is holy leave your daughter with me, you’re already twenty minutes late and we’re on a time limit.” Niall was huffing and red faced by the time he finished speaking.

Harry blinked. He looked at Izzy who was still giggling at him and slowly handed her back to Niall. “Oh. I guess I should...get going then.”

“Yes. Good. Go. He’s waiting outside the venue in a car. Probably with flowers and non-alcoholic champagne because he’s a fucking sap.”

“Should I bring my cam-”

“Yes! Now go! Please! I can text you if anything goes wrong, but it won’t, because I can handle this.”

Harry nodded dumbly, grabbing his camera bag and hurrying out of Niall’s room. He’d just taken Louis at face value when he said he had a meeting all afternoon. He’d never considered that Louis was planning something but he supposed it made sense. Louis was romantic by nature but between the tour having a show every other day and Izzy, they really didn’t have time to themselves these days.

He stepped outside and shivered in the cold February air. He spotted the car Niall was talking about and even though he supposed it was still meant to be a surprise he headed to the car. He’d had Louis wait long enough. The car door was unlocked and he slid into the backseat.  
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, causing Louis to jump in surprise.

He was holding a bouquet of roses and Harry blushed. “How’d you know I was here?”

“Niall told me because I was going to take Izzy with me on my photography trip. He needed to do something to stop me.”

Slowly a smile broke out on Louis’ face and he handed Harry the flowers. “Good man, that Nialler.” He leaned over and gave Harry a kiss on the lips. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

Harry froze, hand on the bouquet. “Valentines? Shit,” he whined, “I completely forgot what day it was. I didn’t get you anything.”

Louis laughed, pulling him in for another quick kiss. “It’s fine. You’ve been so busy balancing everything. But we have a nice lunch scheduled. Shame we’re in Scotland this year, not exactly warm enough to have a picnic outside.”

“I don’t need a picnic, Louis.”

“You deserve the world, and if you wanted a picnic outside in this weather I’d make it happen,” Louis said, leaning forward to knock on the partition. It rolled down a bit and Louis said, “He’s here now so we can go to the restaurant.”

The partition rolled back up and Louis and Harry were left in relative privacy. Harry scooched closer to Louis before he curled up against his side.

“Soooo, where are you taking me?”

“Somewhere nice with seafood.”

Harry grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love seafood.”

“I know, it’s why I did it. Have a nice lunch together and then head back for the concert tonight.”

“It sounds absolutely perfect. Just wish I hadn’t forgotten it was Valentine’s day.”

“You already gave me the greatest gifts in the world,” Louis said, punctuating it with another kiss. “You married me, and then you gave me a wonderful daughter. There’s nothing more I could ask for.”

***

_November 24, 2016_

_Good morning Lovelies!_

_The daughter’s first steps seem like just days ago, but then I remember no, it was almost two months! Do you know what time that means it is? Yup, it’s running time. And what better place to run around than a very, very busy tv studio? It’s not like there’s anything important around that your darling baby daughter can get into. And oh boy do they start getting into everything. There may have been an incident with Lottie’s makeup brushes and the mug they were held in smashing the ground because Louis didn’t realize she could reach them from his lap._

_If you thought touring with a non-mobile baby was a trip just try doing promo with a very mobile one. It’s an adventure._

_So how do we handle this? Well to start with, we get fit! We are mothers and there is no better exercise than chasing around your infant. If you thought they could crawl fast just wait until they get bipedal! You might think you can catch up but they are nimble and quick. You’ll need to be smart because they can get in places you can’t._

_My way of baby proofing any new room I find myself in is to immediately move all the chairs to the wall. Try and give your little one as much open space to run around in as you can. Next try and make sure the chair seats are covered with_ something _because if they aren’t already, they’ll soon be perfect baby head height and there is nothing scarier than your child running head first into the corner of a chair and cutting their head open. Even superficial head wounds bleed a lot and you and your spouse _will_ more than likely be completely useless the first time this happens._

_Obviously you then make sure any plugs are covered up as well. I’d say try and put the chairs in front of them but depending on how old your baby is they might start pushing at the chairs and you’ll find they are stronger and cleverer than you expect. Best to always carry plug covers in your bag. If that seems like too much of a hassle, since you’re traveling around and are likely to forget the plug covers, I’m going to let you in on a trade secret I learned from Lou, not my husband but another mother: duct tape. It seriously solves everything. Duct tape the outlets. Duct tape cabinets shut. Duct tape loose cords out of reach. Duct tape._

_They even come in cool prints now so you aren’t stuck with the boring grey color!_

_But what happens if you’re in a place where you don’t get the luxury of doing all this? Say you’re in a doctor’s office, or at grandma’s house and she _really_ doesn’t like you moving all the furniture every time you pop over for more than two seconds, or maybe you’re at a tv studio and the green room is shared between you, your spouse, and his three other bandmates so it’s a really tight squeeze? Completely hypothetical of course._

_We got our daughter a pretty inexpensive stroller. This is exclusively her “inside stroller” (It’s hard to be creative with names sometimes!) and attached to it are a couple unique toys that she can only play with when she’s inside the stroller. She knows that when we say it’s “stroller time” that means she gets to park her bum in the stroller and finally get to play with these toys. To sweeten the deal she also gets a special treat whenever she is in the stroller, to make the time even more special. And sometimes she can be in the stroller for a couple hours which is _forever_ in her mind._

_But the stroller takes up so much less space than a baby playpen (of which I’m still writing reviews on!! Expect it in a couple days!) and doesn’t require you to move anything around. The only downside is if you keep them in there too long they may get fussy, but just look at it as a chance for you to practice your patience! You’ll need that steel will in the coming years!!_

_All the love,  
H_

*

Izzy had learned how to push doors open and turn handles fifty percent of the time so of course she had to attempt every door she came across. Harry had thought he’d be fine letting her out of the stroller for the few minutes it would take to change her nappy, and then he’d had the genius idea to let her stay out of the stroller for only a few more moments as he put everything away.

Izzy had had other ideas, and when he turned around from closing up the changing bag he was left in an empty green room. Harry rushed to the door and looked frantically down the hall but his daughter was _fucking fast_ and the hallway was empty. Of course it was empty. They were filming so everyone was near the stage, doing their jobs.

Harry cursed and made the executive decision to go left, the closest to a turn because he was pretty sure that if she’d gone right he’d still be able to see her.

“Izzy,” he called, trying not to panic. He didn’t think anyone would take her but who knew what mess she could get into unsupervised.

He heard the commotion of the crew and he cursed. He hadn’t even considered which direction he was going towards but Izzy probably decided it was best to go towards the bright lights and loud noises. He wondered if she had realized those usually led to her daddy, since she’d been in enough tv studios at this point.

He still hadn’t found Izzy by the time he got to the end of the hallway and he gave one last look back to see if any of the doors looked like they had been opened. It was entirely empty and he pushed through the double doors that led to backstage. It was chaotic in the way that only a live recording could be. Well, the show wasn’t live, but they were currently filming. Harry could hear James Corden asking Liam about the direction of their latest album and what they expected to do in the upcoming year.

Izzy was nowhere to be seen. Harry was beginning to panic. It was darker backstage, with a lot of people milling around.

“Can I help you, Mr. Tomlinson?” A woman Harry recognized as the PD asked as she stopped in front of him.

“Have you seen my daughter?”

Her eyes went wide and she immediately looked at her feet, as if she just realized there was more to the world than eye level. “Your daughter?”

“She got out of the room and I think she came through these doors.” Harry tore his gaze away from her as she started whispering in her mic, presumably to inform other people about Izzy.

All Harry saw were people, equipment, and props. The swish of the curtain caught his attention and he took a step towards it. He kept his eyes peeled for Izzy as he made his way to the curtain but he still couldn’t see her backstage.

James was now laughing about something and the crowd was cheering. Harry poked his head out of the curtain and hoped no one would notice.

There, a few feet past the curtain was Izzy. She was making her way towards the stage. Harry could only imagine her eyes were locked on Louis, who was shining under the harsh stage lights.

“Shit,” he muttered. He stepped through the curtain, hoping he could sneak up on Izzy before she made a run for it.

He took four assured steps and swept her up in his arms right as she let out a ear piercing wail. Harry heard everything stop but he was too busy trying to shush Izzy as she began to throw a fit.

“Oh! We have another guest!” He heard James announce and Izzy let out another shriek as Harry tried to take a step back towards the curtain.

“Sorry, sorry,” he was muttering, trying to duck his head and cover Izzy. They did their damndest to keep her as far out of the spotlight as they could while still bringing her with them as much as possible. It was hard to keep her shielded when she started throwing a fit because she wanted something and he was taking her away from it.

He made it to the curtain at the same time Louis intercepted him. Harry hadn’t even realized Louis had left the stage. It took only a moment for Louis to take Izzy from his arms and bring her into his chest, cuddling and kissing her.

“Hey now, no fussing,” Louis half-sang to her.

“Sorry,” Harry whispered. “I turned my back for a second and she took off on me.”

Louis was smiling at least. “It’s okay, love. She just missed her daddy. Isn’t that right, my baby girl.”

The PD he had run into backstage came through the curtain and she was frowning. She didn’t say anything until Louis managed to get a giggle out of Izzy and then she tried to usher both of them backstage so they could exchange Izzy and keep filming going.

“This isn’t exactly how we wanted her to make her television debut,” Louis said, charming the PD with his token celebrity smile.

“We’ll make sure to cut this part from the show,” she assured him.

“It’s greatly appreciated.” Louis looked at Izzy and gave her quick kiss. “Love, you gotta go back to mama now,” he said. Izzy shook her head and Harry knew if she could talk more she’d probably be saying how much she wanted to stay with her daddy. “It’ll be only a few more minutes, okay? You’ll get banana bread.”

She perked up a little at hearing her favorite treat and she looked over at Harry. When Louis handed her over she didn’t try and kick up a fuss. Harry kept a strong grip on her as Louis kissed her hand goodbye and slipped back behind the curtain. Harry apologized once more to the PD before he made his own way back towards the green room. He had banana bread to feed to his daughter.

***

_December 21, 2016_

_Hello Lovelies!_

_Let us take a moment out of our day to acknowledge the lovely Salt-N-Pepper. And by that I mean today’s post is going to be talking about sex. This has been a post I’ve been wrestling to make for a good while, partially because I’ll admit, I was shy discussing it. But I think it’s an important thing to discuss, especially for all the mums out there who are trying to get back on the saddle. And by saddle I mean dick (there’s the next headline for The Sun)._

_Now, you’ve just given the world the greatest gift you can. You have either pushed a small watermelon out of a very stretchy but tiny hole, or you’ve had a small watermelon cut out of you. Either way your body has gone through physical trauma and it will take some time to heal from that. Doctors say at least four weeks if you delivered vaginally and six weeks if it was through caesarean. Depending on your own personal body that could change though. Some mothers find they can’t get wet while they are nursing, which makes it pretty hard to get down and dirty. This is all just the physical aspect._

_See the physical aspect of post-baby sex is easy. I think the hardest part for a lot of us is the mental energy. Sure there are some who are more than happy to jump right back into it, unafraid of pain, libido back up to what they want. But for others it’s tough. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll get pregnant again and that’s not something you can handle right now. Maybe you feel unattractive, and your spouse isn’t helping the matters. Maybe you’re too exhausted each day and when you get in bed you just want to curl up and sleep instead of having some penis poking at you asking you to play with it._

_Maybe you’ve just lost interest in sex and have no idea how to tell your partner._

_All of these are perfectly normal. I think that’s something we all need to hear. Even if it’s something serious, like antenatal depression, it’s still okay. You shouldn’t be afraid of how you’re feeling because how you’re feeling is true and valid._

_I’m gonna be real with you guys. I was very lucky. I didn’t suffer from antenatal depression but it still took me a lot longer than the six weeks my doctor said it would before we had penetrative sex. You need to remember, our daughter was colicky. I did not sleep well those first three months, and Louis was in the middle of a tour. So for the first three or so months it was okay. I don’t think either of us were really up to it._

_But then spring came around, and I still wasn’t feeling it. Our daughter got on a good sleeping pattern and there were nights… let’s just say I embarrassingly faked a headache or two because I was too scared to tell my husband, the love of my life, who I have loved since I was thirteen, that I didn’t want to have sex with him. That I_ couldn’t _have sex with him because I couldn’t mentally handle it._

_There may have been a breakdown sometime around June. Lots of crying and snot and a lot of emotions spilling out that are private and completely mortifying now. But you wanna know what? It was okay. My spouse still loved me. He cuddled me and told me it was fine. That he was just glad I was talking to him about how I was feeling. And you wanna know what? Your spouse will love you too! They will cuddle you and love you and say it’s okay._

_If they don’t, well there’s a reason divorce exists._

_But I’m being serious. It’s going to be okay. It might take some time. You might need to have your spouse reacquaint themselves with your body. Hell you might need to reacquaint yourself with your own body. Get comfortable with it! Pull out that vibrator you haven’t used since uni and go to town! There’s nothing wrong with it!_

_You’ll get to where you want to be eventually. And your spouse will be there with you the entire time. I promise._

_All the love,  
H_

*

“Do you ever feel guilty?” Harry asked.

Louis looked up and him, and then back down at his cock, which was bobbing in front of his face. “Guilty about what?”

“That we use our family members to watch Izzy so we can have sex.”

Louis pursed his lips in thought. “No guiltier than I felt the other night when Izzy started crying over the monitor while we were in the middle of fucking and we kept going because we were both so close to finishing.”

Harry flushed at the reminder. It was definitely not one of his prouder moments as a new mum and he didn’t feel comfortable talking about how bad it was that he had done that with anyone. “Yeah, I really hope that didn’t scar her.”

“But do you wanna know what makes me feel ever _worse_?” Louis asked. “Talking about our daughter while I’m in the middle of giving you a blowjob after we pawned her off to the grandmas for the afternoon.”

Harry looked down, remembering that _oh yeah, they’d been in the middle of something_. “Sorry. I got sidetracked.”

Louis snorted and leaned back on his haunches. “Kinda offended that you got sidetracked while I was literally sucking your dick.”

Harry shrugged. “Try again?”

Louis rolled his eyes and stood up. “We can try again in an hour or so when your brain has cleared up and you’re more interested in this.” He grabbed his pants and joggers so he wasn’t walking around naked and Harry scrambled to follow after him.

“No! I am interested now. I was just...my brain was going too fast.” He caught up to Louis just as he got to the door and he wrapped both arms around him. “Please? I can make it up to you.” He dropped a kiss on Louis’ neck, and then his shoulder, peppering the skin with them until he could feel goosebumps start to form, and Louis was shivering under his touch. Harry gave a gentle bite on the firm muscle of his shoulder and Louis sagged against him. “Come back to bed?”

Louis let him walk him back to the bed and lay him out. Harry climbed on top of him and continued to drop kisses on his neck, shoulder, and then down his chest.

“I love you,” Harry said as he reached his sternum. “I’m sorry I’m a spacecase.”

He felt Louis’ hand drop to his head, fingers carding through his hair. “You’ve got a lot on your mind,” he said. “It’s okay. I love you too.”

Harry grinned as he let Louis push him further down his body, until he was head to head with Louis’ cock. He glanced up, checking in with Louis before he poked his tongue out and licked the tip of his cock.

Louis’ hand tightened in his hair. “Ah ah, I don’t really think this is the time for teasing, love.” He gave a sharp tug so Harry’s face was closer to his cock. “You’ve done that too much today. Suck.”

Harry didn’t need to be told twice as he opened his mouth and practically swallowed Louis’ cock in one go. He hummed as he heard Louis’ gasp of pleasure, pleased with himself. He hollowed his cheeks as he pulled up and his hand wrapped around the base of Louis’ dick. It wasn't that he didn't want to deep throat, he just wanted to pay more attention to the weight of Louis’ cock on his tongue than trying to breathe today.

Louis’ hand tightened in approval as Harry started up a gentle and thorough pace. He flattened his tongue against the vein running along the back of Louis’ cock as he pulled back, letting his hand be a loose pressure in contrast. It was something that always worked for Louis and today was no different.

Louis let out a delighted groan, hips thrusting lazily against the tunnel of his hand. “Such a good mouth,” he said. Harry glanced up. He could feel himself starting to smile, which was always fun when his mouth was stuffed full of cock. Louis seemed to think he looked fine though because he just reached down and stroked Harry’s cheek. “You look so good when you have a mouth full of dick.” If Harry could he would have asked if it was any dick that worked or just Louis’ just to see the flash of possessiveness in Louis’ eyes. Louis seemed to realize what he was gonna say though because the possessiveness still came and he pulled Harry off of him. “Got something to say?”

Harry licked his lips. “Nope. Nothing at all.”

Louis waited a moment and then smiled. “Good boy.”

He began to lower Harry back down to his cock only for Harry to whisper, “definitely not anything about sucking someone else’s dick.”

Louis twisted his hand in his hair. “What was that?”

“I was definitely not going to say anything about sucking someone else’s dick,” Harry said, voice more confident but cheeky as hell.

Louis’ hand loosened and that wasn’t what Harry was expecting. “Just for that I’m not letting you finish sucking my cock.” He pushed Harry back and then spun them around quickly, tipping Harry back onto the bed. “Don’t quite think you deserve to get my come like that.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from giggling as Louis reached over to the bedside table so he could grab some lube and a condom. “So you’ll fuck me instead for my insolence.”

“Yup,” Louis said, popping the ‘p’. He climbed up on the bed and straddled Harry’s thighs.

“Doesn’t seem like I’m getting too shit of a deal for that.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he reached down and stroked his cock. “You’re supposed to be upset that I’m not letting you suck my cock since you love sucking cock so much.”

“Love getting fucked more,” Harry said with a wink and Louis laughed.

He leaned down and kissed him quiet. “You’re a complete menace,” Louis said as he took a breath before kissing him again.

It turned deep and dirty quick as Louis began to grind down against Harry. Harry rolled his hips to meet Louis’. He gasped as Louis’ hand wrapped around both of their cocks, jacking them together. It was a little dry and rough, just as Harry liked and he was left panting against Louis’ lips as he pulled away from the kiss.

“Gotta have you, gotta have you,” Louis muttered against his lips as he kissed Harry and arranged him against the pillows. “Lemme just,” he reached down for the lube and condom.

Harry bit his lip and before he could fully think he’d put his hand on Louis’ wrist. “Umm, we don't need that one.”

Louis looked down at the lube packet and condom, and then darted his eyes to Harry’s body, obviously confused. “Did you, already prep yourself?”

“No. I meant-”

Louis caught on quick and his eyes widened. “Oh.”

Harry knew he was looking bashful as he sunk back into the pillow. Hopefully it was a seductive kind of bashful. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Louis’ grin was suddenly wicked. “I'm gonna knock you up again, that's what's gonna happen. You'll be nice and full of my baby again, just like you loved last time.”

Harry couldn't help the giggle that escaped as Louis tossed the condom back to the bedside table and went to work on prepping him. It was almost relaxing this time around, Louis confident in himself and what he was doing. There was no stress, only excitement at what could come from this. Louis started with one finger, getting Harry nice and wet so he could take more fingers.

By the time Louis lined up and sunk into him Harry had practically worked himself up to an orgasm and it was a straight miracle he didn't come just from the feeling of a cock pushing into him. As it was, Louis fucking into him bare was enough to send him close to the edge. The filth Louis was whispering in his ear wasn't helping either.

“Remember when you finally-” he grunted as he bottomed out, “started lactating and I managed to get you squirting during sex? Tasted so sweet.”

Harry keened at the memory, nipples getting sensitive at the reminder. “Yes, yes, yes,” he kept chanting as his hand drifted up to pinch his nipple. He could almost feel what it would be like to have his chest full of milk again.

“Bet you'll start even earlier this time, now that I know how to work your body. Loved it when you were pregnant. You were so sensitive.”

Harry gasped as Louis hooked his arm under his thigh, pulling it up. It shifted the angle of his thrusts. “Right there, fuck right there, fuck, fuck, fuck.” His cries started to get incoherent as he got closer and he couldn't stop his hand from reaching down and wrapping around his cock.

Louis came with a shout, pushing himself deep inside Harry, filling him up. Harry felt like he could feel every drop and he squeezed down on Louis’ cock, trying to keep everything inside him. He followed right after, dirtying both their stomachs with his come.

When Louis finally pulled out he collapsed against Harry’s side, curling up on his chest. “This is without a doubt my second favorite part of the baby making process.”

Harry laughed. “You said baby making.”

“Well that's what we’re doing isn't it?” Louis asked. “And you don't even ask me what my favorite part is.”

“What's you're favorite part, love?”

“Pregnant sex,” Louis said with a wicked grin as he pulled Harry in for a kiss.

***

_April 2, 2017_

_HOW DO YOU TELL YOUR 18 MONTH OLD THEY’RE GONNA BE A BIG SISTER? ASKING FOR A FRIEND._

_(Due date July 31st)_

_All the love,  
H + L_

*

“Mama, shoes,” Izzy said pointing to Harry’s feet.

Harry looked down at his bare feet and frowned. He wasn’t wearing shoes. Right. That’s what he’d forgotten. He smiled at Izzy and would’ve given her a big kiss if he could bend over without feeling like he was going to topple over. Carrying twins was (unsurprisingly) twice the burden of carrying one. “Can you get mama’s shoes?”

Izzy made a face at him before she ran over to the shoe cupboard and came back with a pair of shoes that were definitely not his. Harry sighed and tried to think if it was worth making this a teachable moment or if he should just ask Louis. He was saved from the dilemma by Louis popping into the room, taking in the sight and quickly getting Harry his _pregnancy shoes._ The ugly, comfy ones he had worn all throughout his pregnancy with Izzy.

Izzy was frowning as Harry took those shoes over the ones she had brought him, but it only took a gentle hand on her back from Louis for her to run off and put them back.

“Got the changing bag?” Louis asked.

Harry pointed to the door where the changing bag was sitting, fully packed. He’d tripled checked it. “Stroller is in the car.”

“Oven is off?”

“That was _once_ but yes, I even took a picture to prove it to myself.” Harry said, reaching in his frock’s pocket for his mobile.

“Smart,” Louis said without a hint of sarcasm. “Baby girl ready to go to the car?”

She let out a shriek of delight as Louis opened the front door so she could run out to the car. They’d told her they were going to see her nans. “I’ll get her into the car, can you grab the cakes? I figure they’re light enough for you.”

Harry rolled his eyes and waddled into the kitchen to get the two cakes he had spent the last day making. They were celebrating father’s day with both of their families but since their families were large they needed two cakes to feed everyone. Harry grabbed both of them and made his way out of the car.

“Don’t forget to lock the door,” Louis called from the other side of the car.

“I won’t,” Harry said putting the cakes safely in the back, nestled against the changing bag. He closed the boot of the car and made his way to the passenger door and got into the car.

Louis got in after and gave him a look. “Did you lock the door like I asked?”

Harry’s eyes went wide. “Shit.”

Louis laughed. “No problem, I’ll get it.” Harry heard him mutter, “five points for me,” under his breath as he got out of the car. He frowned but didn’t say anything as Louis locked the door and then got back into the car.

They rode in silence except for the baby approved travel playlist. Izzy was obsessed with the Trolls soundtrack and she was more than happy to babble and dance in her carseat along to _Can’t Stop This Feeling_ for two hours straight. They had to spice it up with a couple different songs though, or else Harry and Louis were liable for going completely mad.

“Babe, did I remember to turn off the oven?” Harry asked on the twentieth play of _Can’t Stop This Feeling_.

“Yes, you took a picture of the oven,” Louis said.

“I did?” Harry pulled out his phone and blinked in surprise when there was indeed a picture of the oven safely turned off. “So, do I get the points for that one?”

“The points?”

“Yeah, since I reminded myself?”

“What points?”

“For the game you play. You said you got five points when you got out of the car to lock the door. I assumed there were more points to go around.”

“You remember me doing that but can’t remember to lock the door?”

Harry laughed as he subtly flicked him off. “You know I can’t control that. So do you play a game?”

“Maaaaybe,” Louis said with a grin. “I’m always winning though, so it’s not really fun. Izzy is in second place.”

“So, again I ask, do I get points for reminding myself?”

Louis pursed his lips in thought and then grinned. “We’ll split them, since I reminded you you took the picture, but you took the picture so that’s worth two point five points each.”

Harry grinned.

He only asked about the stove four more times the whole trip up to see their families. Louis accused him of making it up on the third time just so he could get more points but he couldn’t prove it so he let Harry get all five points.

(Harry may have been making it up)

***

_December 1, 2019_

_Good morning Lovelies!_

_I feel like I’ve written some version of this post many times over the last five years, but as the Christmas season creeps up on us I feel like I need to do it again. You’re probably beginning to stress about holiday plans and gifts because despite your best efforts to get stuff done early you didn’t. And that’s okay! There’s a reason everyone spends all of December running around like a chicken with their head off. And once you start throwing kids into the mix it becomes a serious mess._

_Right now I’m balancing a school play (Izzy is making her acting debut as Elf no. 3!!), the end of Louis’ album promo, two two year olds who are defining the meaning of “terrible twos”, and a surprise birthday party, on top of trying to organize where Christmas is going to be this year. You’d think we’d have figured that out earlier but you’d be wrong. That isn’t even taking into consideration my day-to-day obligations._

_I get asked constantly “how do you do it?” and the simple answer is always _time management_ but what does that mean? Well, to start off with, despite the twins, Izzy is incredibly cooperative. She can dress herself most mornings with relative speed, by which I mean in the time it takes me to corral the twins she’ll have everything but her socks and shoes on. If you can, I really suggest giving your oldest that freedom as early as possible. It will be such a time saver in the long run, because it’s one extra body you don’t need to dress! And if you’re doing it single, like I am while Louis is in the USA, those twenty minutes can be spent doing something more productive!_

_The second thing I do is utilize every single second I have. Gone are the days when I nap while my babies do. The moment the twins are down is when my work really begins. I crank out more work in those ninety minutes than I do at any other point in the day. My secret is I don’t immediately jump into work though. I take five minutes and go through a quick full body mindfulness scan. I’ve found that if I go straight into work I end up burning myself out by the time the twins wake back up because I haven’t taken any time for myself. The mindfulness isn’t always guided either, sometimes I just throw on a song and let myself sit in my office with my eyes closed. It really does wonders for my upcoming work ethic because suddenly I’m feeling much more focused._

_Whenever I start feeling overwhelmed I take a moment for myself, even sixty seconds of deep breaths can do wonders in clearing your mind. And I know it sounds like a load of bullshit, and impossible, especially when you have kids begging for attention, and probably pets who need taken care of, and you realize you didn’t take anything out for dinner as you’re rushing out of the house to do some last minute shopping, but seriously. Breathe. You have the time. The world is not going to end if you take sixty seconds for yourself and breathe. It might even run a little better._

_All the love,  
H_  

*

Harry was running late. He’d already called the school to let Izzy’s teacher know he was still twenty minutes away. If he sped. He didn’t tell her that part. His 34 week scan had run late since he’d gotten there late because Logan - bless his heart - had decided to throw a giant temper tantrum. Harry and Louis were trying to follow the advice of their doctor that Logan needed to be left alone when he threw those tantrums because he needed to learn they were not effective for getting him what he wanted, but it was hard to not engage with him when Harry had somewhere to go.

He’d given Logan five minutes to burn the tantrum out of him while he got Noah - so calm, so wonderful, his best boy - fully dressed and in the car seat. It had not helped. Logan had still been on the ground, kicking and screaming by the door. He tried to give him a couple more minutes, hoping that he would calm down, but his phone pinged a reminder about his appointment and the baby in his belly pushed down on his bladder and Harry just couldn’t hold off anymore.

He marched over to Logan and picked him up, kicking and flailing limbs be damned. He tried his best to comfort Logan as he walked him back to the car but Logan wasn’t having it. Harry had to fight with him to get him strapped into the car seat and all of his screaming started to make Noah act up.

You’d think after five years of being a mum he’d be used to a little chaos but he still found himself wanting to just close his eyes and curl up on the floor of the car once he got himself behind the wheel. He didn’t do it, because he had shit to do, but he still wanted to. So this is why he was late. Logan had finally screamed himself into a nap by the time they got to the hospital but by that point he was already late, and everything was a mess.

He sent Louis a text, telling him he was an awful parent who was late to getting their daughter and he missed him terribly, before he started the drive to Izzy’s school. He knew Louis probably wouldn’t get it, busy finishing up promo in New York, but it felt good to reach out even a little. He hit every stoplight on the way to Izzy’s school, because of course, and he was definitely fifteen minutes later than he told the school he would be.

When he pulled up he had a moment of debating about the pros and cons of leaving the car running and keeping Noah and Logan in their carseats. The school day was very much over, and no one was lingering around, so there were no parents to judge him, and it was going to be quick. He peeked back at them. They were both asleep. The boys would be fine.

He sprinted towards the door, looking back at the idling car until he was buzzed in. He started his apologies the moment he entered the school, eyes locked on the bench outside the main office where the students usually waited for their parents.

Izzy wasn’t sitting there.

“I’m so, so, sorry,” Harry said as he came into the office, eyes darting around for Izzy.

The head of the office looked up with shock written all over her face. “Mr. Tomlinson! Your husband just picked up Izzy.”

Harry froze halfway into the office. “What?”

She stood up and grabbed the sign out sheet, looking it over. “About half an hour ago.” She showed him the sheet which did in fact have Louis’ signature on it.

“But,” Harry frowned and pulled out his phone. Louis hadn’t texted him back but he swore Louis was meant to be in New York still. He thanked the receptionist and went back out to his car, calling Louis’ phone as he did.

“Yes, love?”

“You’re back in London and you didn’t tell me?”

“And you left our sons unattended in the car,” came the teasing reply from his husband.

Harry’s head snapped up and he saw Louis standing outside his car, holding both of their sons in his arms. Harry hung up the phone. “They were napping.”

Louis looked down at Logan and Noah, who were both awake to different degrees. Noah was wide-eyed and sucking on his thumb while Logan was sleepier, head tucked into Louis’ neck while he clung to him with all his might. “I can take them in my car if you’d rather.”

Harry felt his shoulders drop in relief and he leaned between his sons to give Louis a hello peck on the lips. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until late tomorrow night?”

“And miss Elf Number 3’s amazing performance? Not on my life,” Louis said, nodding towards Izzy who had taken up a spot in one of the boys car seats even though she didn’t fit.

Harry had to bite his lip to stop himself from bursting into relieved tears. It had been hard on both of them telling Izzy that her dad wouldn’t be there for the show. She’d cried. He’d cried. Louis had definitely cried a little. But now Louis was here, parked in front of the school, holding their boys and looking so good despite the clear jetlag.

“Here, lemme put the boys in my car, and I’ll take Izzy home too. Tell me about your scan while I do that, okay?”

Harry nodded and waddled after Louis. Izzy jumped out of the car and scrambled after them. “Dad, dad, can we have hamburgers tonight? Mum hasn’t made them in _forever_.” She was so dramatic. He had made hamburgers at the beginning of the week.

Louis hummed in acknowledgement as he put Logan into his seat first. “You both have gotten so big! Not gonna be able to carry you soon.” Harry watched as he rubbed noses with Logan before giving him a kiss on the cheek. He swung around to the other side of the car so he could repeat everything with Noah too, this time with two hands. “Izzy, my favorite girl, can you get into your car seat while I say bye to mummy?”

Harry _oomphed_ as Izzy gave him a big hug before she ran off to do as Louis had asked. “Love you, mummy, even if your shoes don’t match!”

Harry looked down and saw that he was indeed wearing two different pairs of shoes. He must have gotten mixed up while trying to get the kids out the door. He waved to his three kids before Louis shut them in the backseat of his car and jogged over to Harry. He gave him a proper kiss this time, soft and sweet as his hands drifted to Harry’s stomach. “You okay, my love?”

Harry nodded. “You’re here now. Everything is better once you’re here.”

Louis beamed at him, giving him one more kiss. “Drive safe and I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“You’ll go to the store with the kids?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fun. They always behave well when I first get back cause they’ve missed me so much.” Louis winked and helped Harry into the car. Harry gave him a final hug before he let him shut the door because he was just happy Louis was home.

***

_February 17, 2025_

_Good evening Lovelies,_

_Sorry this entry is so late, I moved too many time zones today and didn’t have something written up to schedule for posting this morning. This is the first time I’m going to be giving birth in a different country and there was a lot to settle in for. Not that the baby is coming any time soon, still a little over two months off!, but we’re going to be spending the next year or so in Los Angeles. There was obviously a lot of talk about moving the kids and what that meant for their schooling which will be a whole other blog piece I’ll write about I promise._

_That’s not what this entry is about. This entry is about my continuing struggle with remembering the little things in life. I know I’ve written about this before where I’ve talked about not turning off the stove, and almost leaving my daughter at the playground (which still ranks in the top 3 most embarassing moments of my life, and not just because of the ensuing tabloid mess that happened afterwards), and I know I’ve mentioned that there is a game Louis and the children tend to play now, but I don’t think I’ve ever broken down what that game is._

_It’s a points based game, where each reminder task gives you a certain number of points. You get two points for reminding me about my keys, sunnies, and shoes. Five points is won if you need to remind me what I am supposed to be doing if I get distracted by something else, and where the car is parked when we leave the grocery store. You get ten points for catching the stove being left on and for the kids’ schedule reminders. Fifty points are given under very special circumstances at the discretion of myself and Louis. The game begins when I announce my pregnancy and goes until the newborn baby is four months (so it’s roughly one year)._

_Whichever kid has the most points at the end of each cycle gets dinner of their choice. The others get varying degrees of small prizes, like a pack of stickers, or a small stuffed animal. If Louis wins, as he has since the inception of the game, he gets to pick where we go on our next family holiday. I have been banned from participating since I was accused of cheating during my pregnancy with Logan and Noah but I’m hoping to overturn that this year! It’s all in good fun, and it does actually help me because I’m noticing that it’s getting worse and worse with each passing pregnancy. My doctor says it’s because my attention is so divided but Logan says it’s because I’m getting old and will probably die soon._

_Gotta love seven year olds._

_All the love,  
H_

*

The house was quiet when Harry woke up. That should have been his first clue something was wrong, but Harry wasn’t used to the Los Angeles house yet. It was significantly larger than their house in London and therefore he thought there may actually be quiet spots in it.

It wasn’t until he came down the stairs to see the disaster that was the living room that he realized quiet was still never a good thing.

There was glitter and paint all over the floor. Okay, well the paint was confined to just around the edges of the plastic bowls they were in, but the glitter. That was everywhere. Louis was in the middle of it, helping Dany, their youngest right now, draw….something on what looked like a chalkboard. Logan and Noah both had paint on their _white_ shirts (who thought it was a good idea to paint in white!) while Izzy was putting even _more paint_ on Meagan’s hands so she could make a palm print on a piece of paper.

“What is going on?” Harry asked.

All six heads shot up. Louis looked guilty and his eyes darted to the mess on the floor. “Weren’t expecting you to be up for another couple hours.”

“Mummy!!” Meagan called, running full force at him, paint covered hands extended out. Harry had only a moment to pray that Louis had bought water based paint before she wrapped her arms around him and her messy hands got his leggings covered in paint. She looked up at him with wide, happy eyes and Harry couldn’t even work up the energy to be upset. “We’re making a project for you!”

“Project!” Dany repeated as best she could, following her older sister in running up to him and hugging him. She at least was not covered in paint. “Art! For mummy!”

“Art for mummy, you say?” Harry asked, looking up from his two youngest to lock eyes with Louis. “What are you making?”

Meagan let him go so she could run back to Izzy and get her piece of paper. Harry realized that she wasn’t talking about the big project when she said art. She was talking about her own project. He dutifully took the finger painting from her, giving her a kiss as he told her how much he loved it. She giggled and clapped her hands - still wet! with paint! - and Harry grabbed her wrist gently.

“Let’s get your hands washed while daddy and your older siblings clean up in here,” Harry said, tugging her towards the bathroom.

Dany followed them, which was for the best since she apparently had been the main cause of the glitter explosion. Harry was happy to find out the paint was water based when it came off of Meagan’s hands relatively easily. Getting the glitter off of Dany was a different story and he ended up having to give her an impromptu bath just to try and tackle it. Of course Meagan had to join in, and both of them ended up splashing around in the tub so much he might as well have had a bath too.

With both of them relatively clean he returned to the center of disaster. Louis had gotten the older kids to clean up as best they could; there was still paint stained on the floor, and glitter everywhere, but at least everything was put away. All that was left was the chalkboard art piece that Louis had been working on.

“So,” Harry asked, as Dany and Meagan ran to the board to look at it. “What is it?”

Logan was the one who held up proudly so Harry could actually look at it. It was a scoreboard. At the very top, in glittery green, it read “Mum’s Forgetful Board”. Down the left hand side was everyone’s names written in birth order, from Dad to Dany. There was still space at the bottom for more names to be written. On the far right bottom corner was a box labeled “Key” which listed out how many points each reminder task gave out. The reason for it being a chalkboard became clear as Harry saw the points were written in chalk so they could be easily updated. As it stood right now Louis had 155 points, Izzy had 78, Logan had 79, Noah had 54, Meagan had 32, and Dany had 12.

“What do you think?” Noah finally asked, and Harry realized he’d been silent for far too long. “Dad said you wouldn’t be mad, so you can’t be mad about this.”

Harry closed his eyes as he tried not to laugh. “Where’s my name on that scoreboard? I think I have 18 points.”

***

_November 11, 2025_

_Hi Lovelies!_

_I am writing to you from the very exciting trailer of a music video shoot! I haven’t been on one of these in what seems like ages!! (Points go to the first person who can guess what music video set I’m on!) But because of this today’s post is going to be short._

_I just wanted to update you all one the pre-order status of my next book! You’ll be able to pre-order it on November 18, a month before it comes out (it’ll make a lovely holiday present!!) It will be my second cookbook, this time featuring thirty minute or less recipes! You won’t believe how easy it is to make quick and healthy meals for the whole family. I also want to announce that I will be doing a signing at the Waterstones in Piccadilly on December 14!! That’s right! I’ll be back in London soon. I know you all are getting sick and tired of my palm tree pictures and are looking forward to some good old fashion rain!_

_Until next time!_  
_All the love,_  
_H_

*

“I just want to check in one last time, you are one hundred percent okay with this? Because you can still say no and I will tell Marvin that he needs to come up with a new idea for the video.”

“Louis, yes I am one hundred percent okay with this.”

“Even if afterwards you decide you don’t want the kids in the video I can have them edit all the shots of them out of the video and put in b-roll, or like, generic families.”

“You wrote this song for the kids. They’re so excited-”

“I know but like, isn’t this bad luck? To do a video with your actual personal life? J.Lo did it with Ben Affleck which was a mess, and Christina Aguilera did one with her wedding video and then she got a divorce!”

“You’re normally not the superstitious kind.”

“What if my desire to write this song and have it as a single has doomed us to a messy divorce and my life completely falling apart.”

“I’m pretty sure if that hasn’t happened with the first hundred songs you’ve written about me or our family it won’t start now.” Louis let out a pitiful whine as he threw himself into Harry’s arms. Harry hugged him, adjusting slightly so it was more comfortable on his legs.

“I’m getting that first baby parenting feeling,” Louis said after a moment of quiet. “Where everything I’m doing is wrong and going to irreversibly damage the kids.”

They were sitting in Louis’ trailer, the six kids - including newcomer Michael - were being corralled by Lottie to prepare for their little screen debut. It wasn’t going to be a big cameo, definitely not big enough to warrant Louis’ freakout. They had three scenes planned. One where the six of them - minus Michael because he couldn’t walk yet - kicked around a football. The second they all “cooked” together and then “ate” together. It was going to feature a very cute moment where Dany fed Michael some frozen yogurt because the faces he made were adorable and hilarious. The final scene was going to be a mock pre-show goodbye, where each of the kids got to hug Louis and wish him luck before he “performed”. The actual performance had already been filmed at his intimate comeback concert a week ago but they hadn’t been able to film anything with the kids in the time frame they’d had at the venue.

When Louis had first decided to make this song his comeback single he had talked extensively with Harry about what that would mean. They’d always been careful about how much they exposed their kids to the spotlight, and it worked because most of their kids friends never knew who Louis was until explicitly told. But this song was a love letter to his children and how much they had helped him become the man he was today, and he’d wanted them to be a part of the song. Their laughter and talking were featured in the opening and closing of the song, and now they were going to be featured in the music video. It was a big difference from their early stance and of course it meant an adjustment for both of them. But they’d agreed together that as long as the kids were open to it then they would be okay with it.

Apparently Louis needed reminding of that.

“Remember when we let Izzy walk the red carpet at 1D’s reunion tour movie premiere?”

Louis let out a sigh. “Yeah.”

“Remember how worried we were that it was going to go horribly wrong and she was going to hate us forever because we exposed her to such a big crowd and she’d never have privacy ever again?”

“Yeah and before you ask, I remember how none of that happened. She’s a perfectly adjusted tween. Oh god, Haz, we have a tween. That’s practically a teenager Do you know what kind of damage we could do to her self-esteem if people comment on her appearance in the video?”

“She’s barely a tween, she just turned ten. Lou, what’s really bothering you?”

He didn’t say anything for a long time and Harry was prepared to ask again when Louis drew in a sharp breath. “I haven’t done this in a while. Music I mean. Guess I’m a little scared people will think this isn’t… I don’t know, genuine.”

Harry frowned. It was true Louis had taken a break from performing his own music after his second solo album. He had joined up with the boys to do a reunion tour and album right before Dany was born, but besides that he was staying in the background and focusing on raising their kids. Once they’d started school there had just been too many milestones that Louis didn’t want to miss. He’d had too many close calls, and actual missed moments, so he’d changed the direction of his career.

He’d only started working on his own stuff again right before Michael was born and they’d decided to relocate to Los Angeles for a year so he could reconnect with producers and get his third album underway. Harry could completely see where Louis’ fears were coming from. To come back from a five year hiatus with such a personal song, well Harry had only a small fraction of an idea of how terrifying that could be.

He bent down to kiss Louis firmly on the lips. “You are the most genuine person I have had the pleasure of knowing and fuck anyone who ever says otherwise. This song is all _you_ Louis and you aren’t using it for headlines. You’re doing to because you love our children with all your heart and you want the world to know how much they made you, you.” He kept eye contact with Louis the entire time he said that just to make sure it sunk in.

Louis’ eyes drifted closed as he nodded his head. “You’re absolutely right, H.” He kissed him. “Guess it’s possible to still get stage fright even after all this time.”

“Just a sign of how genuine you are,” Harry teased.

Louis didn’t respond except to get out of Harry’s lap. “I guess I should get over to Lottie. She wanted to make sure my hair was proper ‘cool dad’.”

“It’s just gonna get messed up when you’re playing with the kids.”

“Trust me, I know. Pretty sure Logan has plans on tackling me if I don’t pass him the ball enough.”

Harry mimed zipping his lips. “I don’t know nothing.”

“Helpful, love.”

“Make sure you have a nice, firm stance?”

Louis laughed and gave him one last kiss. “I don’t know what I would do without you. Seriously. You complete me.”

“You complete me too.”

***

_February 2, 2031_

_Hello Lovelies!_

_Today is the twenty year anniversary of this blog. It’s not the same blog I started off with of course. I’ve switched servers over the years, tried my hand at vlogging for about five disastrous years, took a break for a couple years, and expanded my family in a way that 17 year old me could only dream of. I have seven beautiful children, a wonderful spouse, and a career I love._

_The question I always get asked is “are you done having kids?” This is something that came up after we had the twins, which made sense. We had three children, and most people_ would _consider stopping at the point. But Louis and I have always wanted a big family, so we went ahead and had Meagan. We never really talked about what would make us stop having kids. It was never anything on my mind. Our babies came every couple years and that was good for us._

_When I hit thirty, right after Dany, people started getting insistent I should stop. It suddenly started getting really personal. I’ve been dealing tangentially with the media since I was a teenager but the things I endured during that time was different. When I got pregnant with Michael I got threatening emails. People were honestly upset that me, a perfect stranger, was having too many kids. They were acting as if I hadn’t sat with my doctor and my spouse for long talks about what was the healthiest choice for us._

_And heaven forbid the media reaction when they found out we used IVF for Arlo. You’d think I killed a man instead of bringing another beautiful child into the world. A child who is loved and adored by both of his parents and his six other siblings. I was told if I can’t have kids naturally I shouldn’t be having them. It’s something that even now is still hard to wrap my head around, even though I’ve spent almost every day of my life feeding into this celebrity obsession. Why do people care so much about my personal life? Why do people keep asking me if I’m done having kids? Are they unaware that it’s rude and invasive? Or is it because it’s rude and invasive that they ask me? What does it matter?_

_If me and my spouse decide to have children until we have one for every month of the year that’s our own business. If we decide tomorrow to sterilize ourselves that is also our own business. If I, at 37, announce that I am pregnant with my 8th child, I do not want the reaction to be “is this the last one?” or “you can’t possibly have anymore”. I want congratulated just like I was with my first child._

_All the love,  
H_

*

Breakfast was definitely the most chaotic part of the day. Lunch was quiet because it was only him and Arlo at that point, and dinner came and went in waves with Izzy, Noah, and Logan always having somewhere to be. Even Meagan and Dany - now 11 and 8 - would sometimes go over their friends' house for homework or dinner, leaving him with just Louis, Michael, and Arlo. But breakfast. Breakfast always had everyone.

Harry remembered this fact clearly as he came into the kitchen to the chaos that was everyone trying to get ready. Izzy, his wonderful, responsible, oldest daughter, was making sure Arlo was actually eating and not just throwing his food around. Noah and Logan were comparing homework while Meagan helped Louis sort out lunch for everyone going to school. Harry looked around the kitchen for Dany and Michael, frowning when he saw they weren’t downstairs yet.

He checked the clock and saw they only had a half hour before everyone had to leave. There was a time in his life where thirty minutes seemed like a lot, but it was not today.

“Dany! Michael! Breakfast!” He called out, and then listened for the tell tale running that indicated they’d heard him.

“I was helping Mikey find his shoes!” Dany said as she ran into the kitchen and took up her seat at the table.

“Did you find them?” Harry asked, looking down the hall for Michael to come around the corner.

“Nope,” she said as she accepted the plate of eggs and toast Logan put in front of her. “It’s cold.”

“‘S what you get for being late cause you were braiding Mikey’s hair,” Logan said.

Harry frowned and looked back down the corridor. Michael was finally making his way to the kitchen slowly, hands patting at his hair. Harry’s heart melted. Dany had put his curly hair into two short braids, though it wasn’t the prettiest it could be. He still had a bit of a curly fringe but he looked absolutely adorable.

Harry knelt down and gave him a big hug. “Did Dany do your hair up?” Michael nodded shyly, tucking himself into Harry’s chest. “Do you like it?” He nodded again. “Can you go show daddy and eat breakfast?” He let Michael go run off to Louis and he stood up.

It took about five minutes to get everyone seated in their chairs, but once they were the chaos of the kitchen settled into a more sedate rumble. Breakfast may be chaotic, but it was also Harry’s favorite part of the day. He went around the table, kissing each of his children good morning before giving Louis a big kiss too.

“Morning, love.” Louis waggled his eyebrows. “Is it done?”

“It’s not an official announcement. No one reads my blog anymore,” he whispered, hoping the kids weren’t paying attention.

“Of course not, they just buy every book you put out because they recognize your name.”

Harry giggled, sneaking another kiss. “Are you in the studio today?”

“Nope. I’m gonna be with you and Arlo all day if that’s alright by you. Figured we could go to the park. He could play with his friends.”

“Sounds lovely,” Harry said.

“You ready to tell them?”

Harry looked at the kitchen table, where Noah was opening Michael’s yogurt, and Izzy was bantering with Logan while Meagan and Dany cooed over Arlo. His children. His family. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat to get the attention of all of his kids. “Dad and I have an announcement.” He smiled and waited a beat to let that sink in.

“You’re pregnant!” Izzy cheered.

“I’ll get the chart so we can add Arlo to it!” Noah called, getting up out of his seat until Louis put a hand on his shoulder.

“Let your mother finish,” Louis said, his voice calming all the kids.

“Can I make the announcement, please?” Harry asked, laughing. “Yes, we are having another baby in June.”

“Oh we don’t have a June sibling,” Izzy said.

“Can it be a girl?” Dany asked.

“It doesn’t work like that,” Logan said.

“Is mum gonna forget me at the park again when he gets all spacey?” Meagan asked.

“He didn’t forget you, it was intentional cause you were being annoying,” Noah said.

“Hey! What did I do?”

“You existed,” Logan said.

“Just cause you’re twins doesn’t mean you need to gang up on me.”

Harry locked eyes with Louis across the table as their oldest kids started sparring back and forth and he smiled. Life had turned out exactly how they had always dreamed it.


End file.
